@CYComedy: Is anybody else having trouble logging into my wife's Facebook account?
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@Instinctivetip: [marriage counselling] Her: he always thinks he's talking to me on CB radio Me: I don't, over Her: It's over Me: It's what? Over
@Xalqee: You know you're an Alcoholic when you can't even say the word "sober" without making air quotes
@djdarrellripley: Me: Hey, look, I can't stay long, I've got a cab downstairs. Her: You took a cab? Me: I'm gonna give it back!