@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
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@NerishaLakha: Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back with the rest of it's little Lego friends.
@fuzzlime: I thought it was a staring contest but then I realized the guy had a glass eye so now I can never go back to that gas station again.
@LawbsterSaid: "Wow! Can you believe it's almost June already?!" YES DEB, I AM WHOLLY MYSTIFIED BY THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF TIME ON PLANET EARTH