@ericsshadow: [is being given CPR by my ex girlfriend] "do you know how many heart attacks I had to fake before they sent you."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BlindChow: "You're attachment is too large," my computer tells me. I blush. "My eyes are up here," I respond coyly.
@moose_chocolate: Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here.