@ericonederful: Is divorce spelled with one bottle of champagne or two?
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@dafloydsta: FRIEND: Just let her down easy ME: Ok [later] ME: *jumping in bouncy castle* I WANT A DIVORCE, KAREN
@Swishergirl24: My favorite part about family dinner is when my brother says how he made 600K last year and I get to say someone made a clock of my Avi.
@Mr_Kapowski: Him: This house is perfect for us! Her: What about the kids? Him: You're right. We'll have to put them up for adoption