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@crunchenhancer: "Is it in yet???"
-My ATM, mocking me.
@_davidlucas_: *Slides down your chimney*
*Straightens all your pictures*
@SamDeLanche: 7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check?
Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.
@pizza_dragon: Pony: "I love hay so much I-"
Dad: "Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?"
*pony grows up*
*becomes Horse Emperor*
*legalizes hay marriage*
@mewritesgood: You may recognize me from such films as:
HR surveillance footage 11/13/12
HR surveillance footage 01/22/13
HR surveillance footage 02/28/13
@RowdyBowden: Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.