@Jake_Vig: Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?
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@fivethirtyeight: Becoming hard to tell difference between credible news organizations like 4chan and troll sites like New York Post.
@RidiculousSheri: You know what cats don't like? Blow dryers. You know what's funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat. Anyway, I lost an eye today.
@DanielRCarrillo: "I'm a green onion and I'm here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day." -A rapscallion