@MartaEffing: Is it possible to divorce someone twice? Not re-marry and divorce again, but divorce twice so you're completely done. Like, extra divorced.
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@Phook75: If I'm ever kidnapped and forced at gunpoint to recite the ABC's without singing the song tell my family I loved them
@causticbob: All these Email scams must make it hard for Legitimate Nigerian Royalty to share large sums of cash with strangers!
@LeBearGirdle: [At dinner with wife's friends] Me: may I chime in Wife: I swear to God if you brought your chimes- *my bag dings a little as I unzip it*