@MartaEffing: Is it possible to divorce someone twice? Not re-marry and divorce again, but divorce twice so you're completely done. Like, extra divorced.
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@GibJimson: Assert your dominance by crossing out your coworkers name on their food and put your own. Then eat it in front of them.
@FredPollack: Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service.
@bencoffeehall: Ooh. Remove card RAPIDLY, not RABIDLY. I think I owe the lady at pump 2 an apology.
@dixonshuman: It's like my cat doesn't realize my retirement plan involves him doing something interesting enough to be famous on the Internet.