@michaelianblack: Is it racist that I only use chopsticks when eating Asian food? I'm never like, "Time for pancakes! Where are my chopsticks?"
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@D2BMcG: Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: In a mirror! Well any reflective surface really, windows, shiny cars, puddles...
@BeardedRambles: Relationship status: Fumbled with a key for 5 mins trying to get it to fit into the lock the right way. And I kinda moaned when it slid in.
@aparnapkin: What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question.
@JamColley: two year old comes up to me asking if I've seen a dummy, unaware that she's just set herself up for the most brutal slam of her little life.