@Awesome_Todd: Is it "raymen" noodles or "rawmun" noodles? I don't wanna sound stupid when asking the gas station clerk for a wine to complement my dinner.
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@jonnysun: phd thesis: the amoumt of property damage depicted in a action movie is directley proportional to its budget
@SortaBad: "Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"
@BillPelicanBros: I've got a black eye, a $200 fine and I've been listed on a register...turns out taking candy from a baby wasn't so easy after all.
@kellyoxford: "The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert" - my 9 yr old daughter