@YourMomsucksTho: Is it really too much to ask for a pregnancy test commercial where the lady sees the two lines and starts laugh crying and the guy shits his pants?
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@buhsbaby_baby: One time I invited a guy over for dinner but I didn't feel like cooking so I just poured us each a bowl of cereal really romantically.
@girl_a_whirl: Son: Mom Son: Mom Son: Mom Son: Mom OUIJA BOARD: F F S W H A T ??? Son: Have you seen my other shoe?
@Lerky: Me: you're like heroin. Her: Why? Because you're addicted to me? Me: No, because you're ruining my life.