@shanethevein: Is it still casual sex if you're wearing a tuxedo?
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@JediGigi: Ugh my boyfriend's all "Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos" and "Stop snap-chatting my Mom" and "Stop calling me your boyfriend"
@iGreenMonk: I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!
@Crunk_Jews: [blind date] Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU
@HousewifeOfHell: Rumor has it, some people get things accomplished without whining about it. Not my style. Interesting concept, though.