@jollyrobber: Is it wrong to make change from the collection plate? Asking for a friend.
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@hammbone84: Neighbor: I always see your kids outside but hardly ever see you out there. Me: Oh, that's because my doors lock from the inside.
@1Happytwit: I'm going commando for Valentines day. He's going to be so surprised when I parachute into his yard and blow up his house.
@philmann: I'm the opposite of a bee keeper. I lose bees all the time. I left a hive on the train today. Just accidentally threw a bee at a nun.