@jollyrobber: Is it wrong to make change from the collection plate? Asking for a friend.
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@13spencer: A dashcam video of a cop lip-syncing and dancing to a Taylor Swift song went viral, which is just one more reason to hate the police.
@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter
@Donnie_Fairburn: [Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] "Hey" Hi "Can I ask you something?" Yup "Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"
@FakeDeanAccount: Q: If you could be any animal, which one would you be? A: The drummer from the Muppets, next question.