@TheTweetOfGod: Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Uncle Frank's will stipulates he be cremated & his ashes added to the vegetable water sprayers at the local grocery store. He will be mist.
@AnkCoupleTO: Cute Internet Girl: This guy is pretty funny, I think I'll fol- Me: *Human Cannonballs my way into her living room* HELLO!
@Midgetspar: If I was a police sketch artist I wouldn't listen to the victim. I'd draw a majestic gay dragon then flip it over and be all, "Is this him."
@68Cly29: 50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds