@ColoChiver: Is life fair? Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooo.
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@SamGrittner: If someone starts talking to you, easily get out of the conversation by nodding while climbing the nearest tree.
@Home_Halfway: "My wife and I decided we don't want to have kids." "But...don't you already have 2?" "Yeah."
@AlexRogaski: Michael Cera forgets to do laundry and has to wear a doctor costume to the hospital. He's too shy to refuse people and performs 3 surgeries.