@ColoChiver: Is life fair? Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooo.
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@varoon_singh: When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
@ch000ch: step 1. log onto instagram step 2. find wedding day hashtags, ex. "SmithWedding2014" step 3. use hashtag step 4. post pictures of yaks
@Book_Krazy: Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast] Him: How did you get in my house?