@NotChuckBarkley: Is Miley Cyrus pregnant? Will The government stay shut down? Will the GTA online servers work? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z
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@errdayhustlah: I bet Columbus was super pissed when he rolled up in the Santa María only to find Dora had already explored America.
@daemonic3: [at zoo] Kids, here we have reptiles. Reptiles are cold-blooded. This means they rely on external heat and often answer texts with just a K.
@TheBoydP: Wife: Where'd you buy my gift? Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right? Me: Coupon? *wife faints*