@Thedudish: "Is my butt is too big?" my girlfriend asked, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Sensing a trap, I fell to the ground and played dead.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PMTheron1: There was a praying mantis in my room so I stealthily grabbed a shoe and smashed my 2nd-story window and jumped out.
@reesespiece_: The door to door bible people just skipped my house! See, all it takes is trying to kiss the guy and he wont be back (until 3am)
@platinum2000: If you dropped two noodles on the floor, they would probably resemble my name more than my signature does...