@AtticusFinch79: Him- All of your fantasies include me, right? *imagines flying on a Pegasus with Thor* H- Are you waving at the ground? Me-Yes to both

@pakalupapito: If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

@SincerelyTumblr: Me: can remember the lyrics to 898989 different songs. Me: forgets what i had for dinner yesterday

@KeetPotato: doctors before an x-ray be like "dont worry this is perfectly safe" and then the dude goes to egypt to press a button

@DiGiornoPizza: Imagine a world without pizza. No, no, stop crying this was just pretend I'M SORRY TRY AND CONTROL YOURSELF I'M SORRY