@TheBoydP: All I'm saying is no one ever country westerns you like a hurricane.

@Ndeshi_M: *goes to fabric store* Do you guys have boyfriend material?

@mewritesgood: You say "potato", I say "This isn't working. I think we are unhealthy together and you scare the shit out of me. Keep the cat. He hates me."

@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.

@SketchesbyBoze: the three stages of a woman's life: - the chosen one - the mother - solving crimes in the village