@marcusparkersol: Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
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@MelvinofYork: Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?
@Home_Halfway: *chasing after the person that just robbed my house* TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SO I KNOW YOU GOT BACK SAFELY
@shutupmikeginn: A tall guy in movie theater just sat in front of me and he's on a date so he's going to have good posture the whole time this sucks
@Maxine12333: You know you're getting old when the kids start referring to your savings as their inheritance.