@Tommytoughstuff: Is that a banana in your pocket or... oh wait that is a banana. Sir I'm with super market security. Please come with me.
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@deathoftheparty: you knew the backstreet boys were actually friends because when the one boy asks if hes "sexual" the rest of the boys all agree that he is
@iwearaonesie: *sneaks into sons room to scare him* *trips over skateboard* *steps on something squishy* *turns light on* *makes him clean his room*
@XAIMMadellynne: I was having a good day until my imaginary friend stole my coloring book & crayons & he demands $100 for their return. What a stressful day!
@maebemarbles: Yeah, I'm basically a Pokemaster. *waves vaguely at shelves of confused squirrels in partially sealed Tupperware containers*