@Bexdora: Is that a pineapple in your pocket, or are you just....Why do you have a pineapple in your pocket?
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@TheMichaelRock: It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom.
@dubstep4dads: i bet the first guy to say "smooth as a babies bottom" wasnt the most respected man in the community
@WritePlay: this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds
@FrogAvalanche: [On phone] "Did u see the weather forecast?" "No. I refuse to be sucked in by Big Weather." "Where are you? Its so noisy." "IN A TORNADO."