@krisv_723: Is that a sweet potato in your pants, or are you just oddly shaped?
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@AimeeHelene1: Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants
@SortaBad: *walks into library* "Excuse me, where are your books about asking librarians out on dates?"
@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.