@Swishergirl24: Is the Paleo diet the one where you only eat dinosaurs?
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@onion_an: Kids: Dad why have you never taken us swimming [thinking of an excuse because I can't swim] Me: I got killed by a shark once
@SwedishCanary: I've spotted six Pokémon today but I don't have the Pokémon GO app so it may just be that I need my new meds adjusted.
@BuckyIsotope: The ending for Toy Story 3 only Andy sells his toys to get weed money and makes a bong out of Mr. Potato Head.
@GinAndJif: If you encounter someone who is massively overreacting to something, calm them down by laughing at them.