@Swishergirl24: Is the Paleo diet the one where you only eat dinosaurs?
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@Reverend_Scott: I watched someone give a Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino to a homeless woman. She took one sip and threw it in the trash.
@RitleySammich: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by hacking into State Farm's main server and deleting the 4 DUIs.
@rev_revolver: once a woman in the mall said "isn't everything cuter with babies?!" and jeff replied "not coffins" and just stared at her until she cried