@postcrunk: is the ultimate american drug watching an entire season of a tv show at once or getting married so you don't have to die alone?
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@bazecraze: People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch.
@PinkCamoTO: Autocorrect changed "you flatter me" to "you flatten me" and shit just got really weird.
@HeyZeus666: I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like.
@lasergirl70: Wearing a pretty new bra today that nobody else is gonna see, so everytime I go to the bathroom, I flash myself in the mirror.