@maybenotstef: Is there a morning after pill to erase all the texts from the night before?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Fred_Delicious: *Paul Walker shouts down from the gates of heaven* "YO DID I GET A MILLION LIKES ON FACEBOOK? THEY WON'T LET ME IN WITHOUT A MILLION LIKES"
@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]
@perlapell: My midwife just sat me down and gently broke the news that I am simply plump and she has no reason to be here.