@bourgeoisalien: Is there an apology card for: Sorry I kidnapped your dog and made him run on a treadmill to power my toaster last week, or no?
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@Reverend_Scott: Sometimes I ask myself, what would Aquaman do? So I sit in the bathtub and cry about how useless I am.
@SarahAMoulton: I bet when humans 1st learned to eat there were a lot of mishaps. "Just tried the sand, Betty, probably a 2 out of 10. Don't eat the sand."
@PinkCamoTO: H: You look nice. Me: I'm meeting one of my Twitter friends today. H: So you want your picture on the evening news to be a nice one? Me: Yep