@StickyickyBuns: Is there an app to delete your number out of other people's phones yet?
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@DonQuickoats: Which lip am I supposed to bite to look sexy in selfies? Cuz I look like a werewolf when I bite my top lip
@murrman5: [first day as funeral director] this is the dress she wants to be buried in "It's very pretty but we highly suggest a coffin"
@Reverend_Scott: [sees friend at the store] "Hi" Hey "Where's your better half?" The PS4's at home "No I mean-" Where WOULD it be? Wow, dumb question.
@iTomFoolery: Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I’d call them Tomaskateers.