@Sassafrantz: Is there an easy way to leave a dance circle or do I have to die here?
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@charmfoz: If you have 6+ numbers after your name as part of your Twitter handle I can only assume you're an inmate & tweeting from prison.
@jergarl: [on phone with debit fraud] Bank guy: Sir do you shop on line at all Me: DUDE IT'S 2017 WE BUY TOILET PAPER ONLINE BG: M: Sometimes. Yes
@_UltimateTwit: Like most parents, my wife and I love to proudly watch our beautiful little daughter whilst she sleeps. Freaks her husband out though.