@Ristolable: "Is there really a fire? Prove it." -Mrs. Doubtfire
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@AaronNevins: You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.
@tastefactory: [killer enters home in middle of night] ME: Who goes there? KILLER: Haha ME: What KILLER: Who still says "Who goes there" ME: Ok laugh it up
@XplodingUnicorn: The U.S. Army developed a pizza that stays good for 3 years. Finally, those billions in military spending paid off. Your move, Al Qaeda.