@brennadine: Is there something about me that suggests I want to hear about your smoothie cleanse, because I can change.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Be back after lunch! Boss: OK Me: *texts boss APRIL FOOLS LOL* *goes home, turns on baseball*
@thejoelstein: 4-yr-old son gave smartest answer ever to "How do you know if something is art?" "People tell you."
@MentalAbortions: Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?