@pixelatedboat: Is there something I can hang around my neck to show that I'm a big fan of crucifixions?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vineyille: Scientist next to me: My god. Reality is a simulation. Me (also a scientist): My god. I haven't fed my tamagotchi in 17 years.
@MooseAllain: Writing a song about getting my front door lock replaced. There’s a lovely key change at the end.
@Reverend_Scott: FITBIT: You've done 11k steps today. ME: Ok, I'll rest some. FITBIT: stop now and I'll murder you ME: What? FITBIT: I SAID GOOD FOR YOU!