@pixelatedboat: Is there something I can hang around my neck to show that I'm a big fan of crucifixions?
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@LifeUnPinterest: My husband said I need a scary costume for Halloween this year, so I'm dressing up as a Positive Pregnancy Test.
@Underchilde: Panic rooms are a great way to protect yourself during home invasions or like if you forget your wife’s birthday.
@jjhartinger: War & Peace wasn't written to be downloaded on your iPad, Carol. Tolstoy wrote it for you to carry around and impress people with.
@DanielRCarrillo: If your opponent cracks his knuckles before a fight, have comfort knowing that osteoarthritis will, in due time, avenge your savage beating.