@SmartassChef: Is there such a thing as filthy clean? Let's take a shower together and find out.
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@imdaintyaf: When you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you, wraps a towel around itself and screams oh wait that's my neighbor haha Hi Pam!
@mindintheshadow: I should probably eat this entire bag of Oreos tonight since they're going to expire in 2017.
@usermcuserface: Guy behind me in line at the gas station was standing close enough to reenact the pottery scene from ghost.
@MableGertrude: Things were different in the 80s one time I was kidnapped for a week and no one looked for me. I came home & my room was converted to a gym.