@RandomlyMJ: Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats.
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@TheHyyyype: ME: is there a doctor on this flight?? GUY: i'm a doctor ME: thank god! can you talk to my son? he wants to study philosophy
@lorigonzalez28: Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left.
@tdug: My greatest fear is having a star athlete injure himself and having the coach look into the crowd and point at me to take his place
@Sal0630: *looks under bed* *checks closet* *shuts light, runs to bed* *pulls covers over head* *ice maker dumps ice* *dies from cardiac arrest*