@RandomlyMJ: Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats.
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@GoldenSpirals: [At Doctor] Me:I'm having chest pain Doc:Did you buy a new bra? Me:Yes! Thanks for noticing! Doc:I meant it could be causing the pain Me:Oh
@jergarl: It's not a real twitter addiction until you look up from your phone and you've missed your exit by 37 states.
@TheGladStork: I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called "I Just Can't Wait To Be King".