@chapel3929: Is this cat saying Meow or Mao? Cause I'm not keepin some commie cat
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@MableGertrude: It's funny how you think it's your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
@i_wantMyBiitch: I wish my new best friend from Spain came with subtitles, because pittbull only taught me uno do tres cuatro...
@bobvulfov: Why did the thumbs-up become the universal symbol for approval? "hey let me show u my weirdest finger because i'm down with what ur saying"
@WilliamAder: To my followers in Florida in the path of the hurricane: Remember to keep your phone charged. These tweets don't "like" themselves.