@SamuelHLowe: Aliens must know that we're an easily conquerable race if they've ever seen us try to cancel a printer job.
@LOsepyan: If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback
@zachreinert03: Hey people who say 'I want my funeral to be like this': what are you going to do about it if they don't do it like that?
@shkeeber: I'm not drunk. I'm a gravity inspector...
...and everything seems to be in order here.
*falls down/passes out*
@LoveNLunchmeat: Forgiveness is for people who don't know about arson.
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