@shawnspree: Is this the movie where a down and out coach is given a chance of a lifetime to turn these nobodies and misfits into a winning team?
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@DevilryFun: Interviewer: We offer great benefits. Me: Can I take my two weeks vacation before I start?
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit
@SteveKoehler22: Ladies : Who's the man who, with just the slightest touch- gives you chills and makes you tremble with anticipation ? Your dentist.
@3sunzzz: [notice son's not home] [text] Me: IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT! I SAID HOME BY 11! 17: You were my ride. Me: Oh. Where are you again?