@Bob_Heller: Is your girlfriend wife material? I'm building a giant wife.
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@thezachmaginnis: My sister told me to "take the spider out" instead of "kill" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
@ch000ch: Me: hands up, this is a robbery? 7-11 cashier: Therapist: what did we talk about Me: (firmly) this is a robbery.
@ArfMeasures: SON: Daddy, what's the point of this? ME: I'm not sure there is one, son, our existence and actions are ultimately futile and meaningless SON: No, I meant this ME: Oh that's a can opener