@WilliamAder: Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
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@13spencer: An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying "good boy."
@cluedont: Always put the important stuff in the first part of your tweet, because no one will cat basket the walnuts if there's pickletits at the end.
@P_o_n_k: BRUNO MARS: I'd catch a grenade for ya ME: Thanks, but I'd probably still die. BRUNO MARS: Jump in front of a train for ya ME: Again...