@gorrdano: Is your wife buying too many shoes? Cut her feet off. There, done.
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@The1WhosCrazy: The walk of shame: When you toss a paper ball in trash, miss, then have to go get it.
@flashember: *stares into wormhole* Whoa man, cool. *gets slapped by worm* Pervert! *worm wiggles away*
@cromp_daddy: man [looking at condom in horror]: oh no.. it's expired woman: don't condoms take like 5 years to expire? man [visibly sweating]: uhhhh