@awkwardphilippe: Is your wife single?
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@ClichedOut: HOW TO BE A LAWYER: Witness: I saw your client do it. Me: Allegedly. W: No, I did. M: Allegedly. Judge: That's argumentative. M: Allegedly.
@girlontapas: The Internet lets the world instantly know my thought but...they can't make a microwave that I can put metal in. Someone isn't trying.
@Swishergirl24: The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?