@Eric_Bader: Isn't it ironic that crocodiles like water and people who wear Crocs are douchbags. Ok, maybe I don't know what ironic means.
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@DepressedDarth: All I want for Christmas is a stormtrooper who doesn't miss the target every time he shoots.
@UnicornSyrup: "I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?"
@PortRooster: Niece (4): Uncle, what do you get if you mix blue and purple? Me: Blurple. *She walks away satisfied and amazed at all the things I "know"