@TheBosha: Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER.
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@joeldanger: I'm not saying she has daddy issues but she only fills out credit cards for the instant approval.
@RuinMyWeek: She says talking to me is like talking to a kid. Therapist: And how many years has this been going on? *holds up 6 fingers* This many
@GetCougarized: Whenever a guy boasts he has a party in his pants, I always ask him to prove it. If he's not packin nachos, beer and M&Ms, I'm going home.