@Parker_Simpson: It concerns me when someone comes out of the bathroom stall and has to wash their hands all the way up to their elbows
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@thenatewolf: Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken...
@daemonic3: Pizza Hut: May I take your order? Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian? Pizza Hut: Yes, but don't ever call me vegetarian again.
@koalaslament: I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they're in the middle of a race.