@KentWGraham: It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol.
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@Gooooats: It turns out no one likes "the real me" and they have asked the priest to reverse my exorcism.
@jonnysun: how to talk to a woman wearing headphones: 1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones
@AmishPornStar1: I long for the days when waking up with a "stiff one" wasn't referring to my lower back.