@KentWGraham: It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol.
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@crushingbort: They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people
@pleatedjeans: [airport] For $800 more you can upgrade to Arctic Class What's that? Same as coach but the flight staff is penguins [slaps table] SOLD
@MikeCanRant: 1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet