@KentWGraham: It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol.
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@Vice_Queen: Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene except it's me throat punching you for trying to eat my food.
@ChrisStokdyk: Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, "My God, I look like a pillow" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow.
@stephenjmolloy: "Installing this app on a smartphone or tablet will mean everyone in the house can easily adjust the thermostat." Dads in unison: "Nooooo!"