@lisaxy424: It doesn't matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.
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@BlindChow: The remote isn't working! And the TV's stuck on Food Network again! "Are you in the kitchen?" Yes. "Honey, that's the microwave."
@RobElliottComic: That show Scrubs is bullshit. Not one person in this hospital joined in my song and dance number.
@BonaFideIntent: Daily 'Facts About CHEESE' Fact About Cheese #3: "String Cheese. Is not made of string."