@MensHumor: "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game." -Losers
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@SonoLibero_8: Guy asked if I put him in the friend zone. I was like, whoa slow down there. I'll have sex with you, but friendship is a serious commitment.
@evanrhorne: As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: "Let me see your phone"
@Ygrene: Me: allow me to be a frank with you You: ok but don't you mean 'be fra-' Me: [is suddenly a hotdog] You: [is suddenly a hotdog]
@SassyChantelle: Everybody always says say "No!" to drugs, but I'm thinking that if you're talking to drugs, it's too late