@MensHumor: "It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game." -Losers
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@shutupmikeginn: [my first cutaway on The Bachelorette] I can eat more roses than any of these guys
@onion_an: [at restaurant on 1st date pretending not to be an eel] Date: The wine is lovely great choice Me: *helplessly slips off chair*
@sofarrsogud: It's like my pet hippo doesn't even realise it's my pet. DOCTOR: Please be quiet while I stitch up your face.