@BromanConsul: "It doesn't say anywhere that you have to EAT them, you see," I explain to the Olive Garden waitress as my breadstick kingdom adds a library
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@TheDiLLon1: Cheap 1st Date Ideas: Get some matching Red Polo shirts & hang out in a Target. Give terrible info to inquisitive costumers.
@DaHess1: Referring to another employee as a "gingeraffe"will land you in sensitivity training...no matter how tall and redheaded they are.
@Seinfeld2000: 7 thoughts u have when buzfeed steals ur content -WTF -OMG -Huh -FAIL -LOL -NOPE -why is a multimilion dollar website riping off my twiter
@david8hughes: "Despite my best efforts, my hot air balloon just isn't going to fly." "Dude, that's a bike with a blanket on it." "My best efforts."