@TheMichaelRock: It feels like Obama's been on tour longer than The Rolling Stones.
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@NurseMurderer: Objects in the mirror may appear like you've been depressed and have eaten a lot the last 3 years.
@iamburtjarvis: [confessional] me: father, gooey naan. father: what's gooey naan? me: nothing much. what's goin' on with you?
@david8hughes: On the 5th day, god was hungover & didn't feel up to much so he created worms, shoelaces & spaghetti, then punched out just after 1pm.
@SteveSuckington: Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?