@MsLadyLuvBug: It has been brought to my attention that people stickers on car windows are NOT pedestrian kills,but family members. Removing mine ASAP.
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@SortaSarcastic: 90% of life is just having the courage to show up. The other 30% is just checking the math.
@SteveSuckington: Van Gogh's girlfriend: my dearest Vincent, lend me your ear Him: cuts ear off Her: I just wanted u to listen to me Him: nah, I'm good
@2questionable: Bathe your child in lavender soap before bed so you're both nice and relaxed before you lose your mind when they won't go to sleep.
@JosesLovesYou: Sometimes I loiter outside of Victoria's Secret just so people think I have a girlfriend.