@CodyCoconuts: It has been proven that Australians watch TV more than any other appliance.
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@jake_likes_naps: HER: [she puts her hand down my pants] mm what do we have in here ME: [sweatin because thats where I keep my chicken mcnugget stash] nothin
@Mr_Kapowski: With the ferocity that my 6 y/o daughter knocked on the bathroom door there was either a murderer in the house or a cat did something cute
@ibid78: [sees a kid at the park doing the pee pee dance] "NO KID, WAIT- [it starts raining buckets of pee]