@Freudstombstone: It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged.
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@poizngrl: If my children are any indication of how much I talk, I would now like to apologize to any man I've ever dated...EVER
@TechnicallyRon: Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'
@Mr_Kapowski: Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the "orange you glad I didn't say banana" knock knock joke
@AaronCSU54: My therapist thinks meeting women on twitter for sex is a bad idea. His wife disagrees.