@Freudstombstone: It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged.
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@Ophelia_808: [stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!
@RexHuppke: The emailer who threatened LA schools claims to be "a Muslim extremist." That's like a student signing his report card "Timmy's Dad."
@Maxine12333: Daughter saw old clothes I've saved for sentimental value & said 'I bet you cried when the last dinosaur died too'. She's out of the will.