@toastymoe: It is NOT acceptable to lift up the back of a woman's shirt to look at her lower back tattoo, even if you're at Walmart... I know that now
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@Fred_Delicious: [sees some cut grass] "Nice" [sees some ripped leaves] "oh yea" [sees a twig with a 6 pack] "holy shit"
@Cheeseboy22: A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
@Storminika: The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house.